“Being broken is the place to be, and with the broken pieces of my life, Lord Jesus, connect others to thee” – Dunamis Reignz – From the song “Broken”

On August 4, 2016, I published my first blog on this site titled – Unmasking – From the Double Life – Part 1. Before that moment, I never shared that part of my life with anyone. Here I was on this date sharing it with the world, but, to what end? I remember feeling so anxious, fearful and unsure. Ofcourse I got the talk from concerned family members. The question was, as an aspiring lawyer, how will this affect you being called to the bar? Honestly, I never thought about that. I knew that God was calling me to write this blog and my only thought was to be obedient. I was fearful, but I was prepared to deal with the consequences of my obedience later. Many did not understand why the unmasking was necessary and I too was with them. In the beginning, I reasoned that God was going to use my story to bring someone into the knowledge of His saving power. I was even presumptuous in thinking that this blog was more for the reader than it was for the writer.

Well, as I was writing today’s blog, it dawned on me, it has been 5 months since the first blog was published. I must say, I stand corrected. This blog was first for the writer and then for the reader. Being obedient to God in that moment was one of the hardest things I was going to do. I was putting myself out there for the world to judge me. But, with fear and anxiety welling up in my stomach, I decided, if I am going off the deep end, I would rather jump with God, than stand on the side lines being safe and alone. I obeyed.

Today, I can say obedience is worth it every single time. As I was writing this blog, I went back to read the Unmasking part 1,2,3. While I was reading it, I realized something; my scars don’t hurt like it did when I wrote those blogs. I could not even remember the pain I felt while I was writing it. It was all a very distant memory. Wow! Look at the power of God. “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

Heart to Heart

5 months ago when I started this blog, I was broken. If you read the Unmasking series during that time, you could feel, hear, and taste it. Hurt and pain were leaping from my words. At the time, it never made sense to me why God would ask me to write a blog about my life when I was not healed. It never made sense to me why God needed me to do it in August, none of it made sense. All it required was my obedience. There I was again with a choice, God or me?

Well, the fact that you are reading this blog means you know what my choice was. But hear me out. When God has placed something on your heart to do, often times, it will never make sense to you or your senses, but remember Abraham when God told Him to sacrifice Isaac. I will also tell you, you will never feel ready for what God is calling you to do, but remember Gideon and his 300 men who went out to battle. One last thing, you will always find fear lingering when you are faced with the choice to obey God, but remember, God did not give you a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7

DO IT ANYWAY!!!! DO IT FEARFUL! DO IT WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING! MAKE THE JUMP!

God has placed some things on the inside of you and He is calling you to obey. Yes, you are broken and you may feel unqualified. Well, just look at me, in my complete brokenness, God entered my life and turned it around for my good. I am so free! From my heart to yours, I encourage you, make the jump with God, I did, and I am soaring like an eagle!

Above I quoted a song that has blessed my heart so much and it has truly depicted my life. In my brokenness when I believed I was unqualified, God truly showed me that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. And, that my brokenness actually qualified me to be used by Him because “the sacrifice He desires is a broken spirit. He will not reject a broken and repentant heart.” – Psalm 51:17

For 2017, I am hopeful, “that He who has begun a good work in us will complete it.” –Philippians 1:6

Happy New Year and Thank you for supporting the move of God on this blog! God loves you!